Lost

I've lost touch with my voice. My thoughts no longer weave themselves into words. So this is what I'm left with. I've now put my faith into my hands. I'm not much of an artist, but I'm taking the chance and submitting to this new desire in hopes that it will be able to tell the story from here.


"Still"


"Source of Light"

"...purity of the heart is the one success worth having."

'In the time of your life--live!'
That time is short and it doesn't return again. It is slipping away while I write this and while you read it, and the monosyllable of the clock is Loss, Loss, Loss, unless you devote your heart to its opposition.

"A Streetcar Named Desire"
--Tennessee Williams


A little over dramatic, but the meaning still rings true.

Like Yourself, Late At Night

"It is of practical value to learn to like yourself. Since you must spend so much time with yourself you might as well get some satisfaction out of the relationship."
--Norman Vincent Peale

I laughted when I first read this because I was thinking how truer words have never been spoken. Neither have simpler instructions to a happy life ever been articulated. I mean, once you get over issues with depression and self-esteem (which don't get me wrong, is in no possible way ever done with ease), liking yourself and gaining satisfaction from the relationship can't be all that hard right?

What I failed to realize is that to like yourself, you have to first find yourself. Or at least, never give up trying. For some, that's half the battle.

Nothing Profound

I know that I no longer post regularily, so when I do, it would only make sense that I have something important to say, right?
Wrong.

I was just pondering something for a while that I wanted to jot down.
The reason I think that people come to dislike one another (from the best of friends to new lovers) is their own fault. When we meet someone, based on what they first say and how they first act, we automatically generate a first impression of them. Even if the whole time in our heads we're thinking, "that came out wrong, but I'm not going to hold it against them because they probably meant something less [insert slightly negative word here]," we're still unknowingly evaluating them to our subconscious standards. So, when these people do something that the mental patterns in our brains failed to predict (based on what [we thought] we knew about them), we get in a huff about how they're doing something "wrong". I don't think we're necessarily getting mad at them or what they did, we're getting mad at ourselves because we expected something else and we're redirecting that anger at them.
However, undoubtedly, some of the time what they do probably was offensive and conflicting with our own moral beliefs. But if this is true, how come it makes it okay for some of your friends to say those things and act that way and others cannot? Based on their background and experiences, you could be making mental exceptions, but what about those people that make you angry because they said something even though in retrospect, you realize it would have been fine if anyone else said it?
If anything, the only person in this note that I am referencing is myself (since I am the only person I can speak for); but it's just a thought.

Being Weird Is Over-Rated

"We are all a little weird.
And life's a little weird.
And when we find someone who's weirdness is compatible with ours,
We join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."

This is one of those quotes that after reading it made me go, "That could explain everything."
In my opinion, there is way too much stigma attached to way too many insignificant things in this world. But this quote reassures me that that's okay. Everyone's unique. Everyone's different. Everyone has their own quirks. And even though some of us may display our own in bright neon lights, while others keep there's in a box underneath their bed, they're still apart of us; apart of each and every one of us. That's why it amazes me that some people can put so much effort into hating for something so insignificant in the great scheme of things. What makes matters worse, is that these ignorant, arrogant, egotistical people can turn right around and bitch about what someone else has said about them. (So I guess we can add hypocritical to that list). I mean come one!! Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, but you don't have to push yours on other people or discriminate against them because theirs are different.
People make different choices for millions of different reasons. 99.9% of these reasons probably won't make any sense to you because you don't have a clue what that person has been through or what coping techniques work best for them. If the person is comfortable with it (and it's not putting their life or anyone else's in danger) then why do some people have such big problems with matters that they have nothing to do with and know not a thing about?
We're here to provide a support system to each other; our brothers, our sisters. We're also here to pose challenges to each other, but it shouldn't be taken to the extreme where a person develops some serious mental health issues, even if they are something as basic as self-esteem issues. I'm not saying we should raise a generation of pussy hippies, but I think people need to start conciously considering their impact on people - because they are people too. As crazy as that idea could seem when you see someone doing something you absolutely detest, remember that they're carrying their own bag of shit around with them, just like you. People need to realize that there is only one superior race - the human race. And we're all in this together.
The point I'm trying to get across here is probably extremely close to hundreds of other rants written by frustrated teens in this globilized age. Because of this, the true value of the messafe may get lost on some. Afterall, the whole "Save the planet", "Love thy neighbour" schpeil is most definitely chichéd by now. But that doesn't mean it should be ignored. If anything, when hundreds of different people are trying to spread the same message, shouldn't others at least open their minds to the possibility that there might be something behind it? But still, the efforts seem futile. Prejudice and discrimination still exists today, even in those who claim to have abolished it from their lifestyles.
Okay, I've kind have really digressed from this quote. It was meant to be just a cute little saying and I took it literally and ranted about it in a political sense. I feel like I stripped it of it's face value for being innocent and cutesy, but I just wanted to confirm the fact that everyone is VERY VERY different, no matter how much you think you're alike. We are each our own person, with our own experiences and our own minds. If we find someone we get along with, we click If we don't, we don't. No need to interrupt the peace to show that. Let it be. Co-exist.
And above all else; don't be afraid to love.

"The things we hate most in others,
Are the things we fear most in ourselves."
We are all fighting the same battle.