I Swore Never Again, But You Just Keep Pulling Me In

How is it...
Your smiles give me a reason to live.

But,
Your words come all too quick.
And they're never there to comfort,
Or console.
Always clawing at what hurts the most.

Hopefully, there is room for me to still hope
That there are good reasons for this

That
Your heart is just waiting for someone else to fill the emptiness.

A Little Introduction

First of all, Merry Christahannukwanza and Happy New Year to like... the one person that reads this.

Next; it's about me.
So, I just wanted to say that this will probably be updated whenever I feel like it. Which actually won't be that often because I don't have the time and this is my slacker year so I can do whatever the fuck I want. (: That goes to show that everything written on here is shit. This is because of the reason that I type these things out as I go and rarely edit... so sorry if it makes your brain cells commit suicide.

Furthermore, I know this little thing lacked structure, but whatevs. I hope everyone had a good holidays. I know I did. (;

Two Oh One - Three Hours, Fifty-Eight Minutes Til The End

Man, life really sucks.

Go On And Play

You use your eyes,
like you're playing a game.

Deceiving and distrating me,
so I don't reach the goal.

But is it even worth it?

Pushing through razorblades,
slicing open wounds again and again.

You're tearing me open,
I hope you know.

You lead me through all this,
acting like I will get some relief,
from this stupid nightmare.

But you're deceptive.

You're telling the truth when you say you're a liar.
So how can I even begin to believe your sickly sweet voice?

But you can lead me along these roads,
where we move along beside your past.
Steel, empty eyes screaming at me to run.

I should know that every path you lead is the same.
Each leading to the same place of heartbreak.

A place darker than your eyes,
Deeper than my thoughts,
Filthier than yours.

But keep dragging me along,
treating me like you saved me from something,
other than yourself.

I need someone to tell me what I am worth,
That you do care about me,
That you will rescue me from this game.

This game where you're the prize and the enemy,
the game where I can never win.

Because I'll always be stuck listening to your poison voice,
and believing every word of it.

I'm Not Falling Down Anymore, I'm Falling Apart

You told me to take it easy,
not be so judgemental,
live life for the fun of it.

You took me by the hand,
put your heart in it,
and told me to squeeze hard.

You held me when I cried,
gave me a couch to crash on,
and told me that it would be okay.

You led me out of the darkness,
laid your head on my chest,
and listened to what my heart said.

You pulled me to the edge,
held my hands tight,
but never gave me the chance to look down.

You controlled me,
thats what you did.

I'd gasp for air,
and you'd shush my words.

I'd reach for your hand,
and you told me to grow up.

I'd beg for your forgiveness,
and you slapped my soul.

I told you I loved you,
and you walked away.